Is this considered a Haiku? Pls help! Thank you so much :)


#1

It’s my first attempt in crafting a Haiku. It would really be appreciated if I could get some feedback about my first piece of work. Thank you all so much! Here goes nothing…

Title: In the pits of hell

Purgatory, a place–
In it lies the soul within
Blazing and hot red


#2

I think your first line has more than 5 syllables. Other than that, appart from the to me unattractive christian torture fantasies, it’s fine.

Be advised though, that this is a forum for the open source operating system “Haiku”. The connection to poetry is metaphorical at best. :slight_smile:

Regards,
Humdinger


#3

Well, we haven’t had one of these for a while, and as Humdinger said, this is not actually a poetry forum. But in the spirit of being helpful

  1. Haikus don’t actually work well in English. The Japanese language is almost entirely constructed from 2- and 3-sound syllables, so structuring a poetry form around a 5-7-5 structure is perfectly reasonable. English syllables can be anything from 1 to 6 sounds and sometimes they are elided. In your example, “placed” is technically two syllables but pronounced as one.

  2. A proper Haiku juxtaposes two images by using a “cutting word”.

  3. A Haiku must include a seasonal reference.

  4. Haikus are not normally titled.

Finally, get your theology right. Hell and purgatory are not the same thing at all.