It’s my first attempt in crafting a Haiku. It would really be appreciated if I could get some feedback about my first piece of work. Thank you all so much! Here goes nothing…
Title: In the pits of hell
Purgatory, a place–
In it lies the soul within
Blazing and hot red
Well, we haven’t had one of these for a while, and as Humdinger said, this is not actually a poetry forum. But in the spirit of being helpful
Haikus don’t actually work well in English. The Japanese language is almost entirely constructed from 2- and 3-sound syllables, so structuring a poetry form around a 5-7-5 structure is perfectly reasonable. English syllables can be anything from 1 to 6 sounds and sometimes they are elided. In your example, “placed” is technically two syllables but pronounced as one.
A proper Haiku juxtaposes two images by using a “cutting word”.
A Haiku must include a seasonal reference.
Haikus are not normally titled.
Finally, get your theology right. Hell and purgatory are not the same thing at all.